Building A Winning Mindset
Is Negative Self-Talk Holding You Back?
How have you been talking to yourself lately? Would you say the same thing to your family that you say to yourself? When you say something like, “I’m not good at X, so I won’t try,” you are expressing negative self-talk. Sometimes, a little negative speak stops you from making an unwise or unsafe decision. Most of the time, the critical voice in your head prevents you from reaching the success you desire.
How Negative Self-Talk Holds You Back ย ๐ฌ
Negative self-talk prevents you from seeing opportunities. It increases your stress and may affect your behavior. It may also manifest itself in these ways:
1. You believe things about yourself that aren’t true. When you keep repeating the same negative ideas, you start believing them. Soon, your thinking is limited, and so are your chances of success.
2. You believe that great is no longer good enough. You may find yourself picking apart your last project, looking for all those bits that didn’t go as planned. This may lead you to think only perfection will do, and since perfection isn’t attainable, you shouldn’t try.
3. You feel depressed. Too much negative talk can lead you down the path of depression, damaging you and your loved ones.
4. Your relationships may suffer. Constantly living in a mind of self-deprecation can leech out into your relationships. Others may see you as needy and insecure. It can prevent open communication and a feeling of closeness because anything they say may be taken wrong by you.
4 Suggestions to Stop the Negative Self-Talk
You can stop the negative self-talk from preventing your success. Here are four suggestions to get you started:
1. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. When the inner critic starts chattering, stop and listen. Then, pay attention to how you feel when the words are harsh.
2. Live in the moment. Reduce the chatter in your head by focusing on what you are doing now, not the stuff coming up. For example, if you are sipping a cup of hot tea, relish the flavor and warmth of the cup in your hands.
3. Play devil’s advocate. As negative self-talk springs up, challenge the thoughts coming out. Ask yourself if the statement is true. Most likely, it is an exaggeration instead of the truth.
4. Swap out negative words with positive ones. Decrease the negativity in your everyday speech by actively using more favorable terms.
Remember that your journey to success will move smoother when you beat back any negative self-talk that’s holding you back
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Perfection Is the Enemy of Success
Success is a rollercoaster filled with hills and dips. You sit in the front car, put on your safety belt, and let the brake release send you down the track. The first hill is always the one full of anticipation. It’s the highest one and propels you toward the rest of the ride, where you will encounter super-fast speeds mixed with some slow spots. Notice that while it was fun, it was less than perfect. The cars shook your bones, and you may have felt like you had whiplash. But you had fun! Success does that too. Its twists and turns, hills and valleys, leave you breathless and ready for more unless you let perfectionism stall you at the gate.
How Perfection Stalls Your Success Journey
The best way to stop success in its tracks is to be hung up on perfection. Here is how it affects your journey and what you can do about it: ย ๐
1. You fail to get things done. You find yourself fretting over the perfect business plan instead of implementing the plan. Why? Because you feel you must account for every eventuality. You do not have a crystal ball and cannot tell the future. It’s OK to accept ‘good enough’ and get moving. You can tweak along the way.
2. You focus on the product, not the process. Too much emphasis on the final product leaves you trapped. All of your energies will be expended on the end result while you miss out on the beauty of the process to get there. Developing good habits will propel you to complete everything that needs to be completed. You will also learn and grow so that you can adjust and make the final result even better than you initially imagined.
3. You allow for fluid deadlines. Setting deadlines helps to get things done. Moving your deadlines will enable you to postpone your success. You’ll find that you allow perfectionism to creep in almost every time you postpone a deadline.
4. You lose momentum. Perfectionism slows your speed out of the gate. If you delay working on your goals, you may become complacent about reaching them. The result is delayed (or non-existent) success. Move fast, keep your enthusiasm, and stay on course.
Don’t get caught on the kiddie coaster called perfectionism. Jump into the front car of your success coaster, and keep your hands up for the thrill of a lifetime.
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What Happens When You Ignore Self-Care in the Pursuit of Success?
Are you running on empty? Have you noticed warning signals, but they aren’t on your car’s dashboard? You have likely ignored self-care as you pursued success. If you neglect to care for yourself, you will not get to enjoy success in your life. Just like cars need regular maintenance, so do you. Yet, caring for ourselves is often not the highest priority on our list. We forgo eating healthy, sleeping, and exercising. If we go too long, we pay for it.
Consequences When You Ignore Self-Care ย ๐
For every action, there is a consequence. Sometimes, you won’t reap the results for years. Other times, it can be immediate. When you ignore caring for yourself, you can expect a variety of issues, including:
1. You start making mistakes, particularly dumb ones. Lack of sleep and other avenues of self-care leave your brain depleted. Soon, you find that you are making some rather silly mistakes and reaping the embarrassment that comes with it.
2. You struggle to prioritize. Everything becomes essential until you cannot determine what is of the highest importance. You may get lost in the details and fails to see the big picture.
3. Your attitude becomes more judgmental. Failing to recharge and reenergize will leave you tired, grumpy, and critical of others. On top of that, you become more critical of yourself – enter negative self-talk.
4. You make mountains out of molehills. Momma may have told you not to cry over spilled milk, but you can’t help it. Emotional outbursts are your new normal, and your loved ones pay the price.
Start Self-Care Now ย ๐
Don’t neglect your needs. Seek out ways to put yourself first to be the best you possible. Start by:
* Getting enough sleep. Just like a toddler needs rest, so do adults. Our bodies need time to recoup. Your brain needs the opportunity to recharge, so do your cells. Aim for regular, restful sleep of between 7-8 hours.
* Eating healthy meals. Stop eating out. Stock up your refrigerator will nutrient-dense vittles and give your body the energy it needs.
* Make friends with your treadmill. You don’t have to get on a treadmill specifically, but you do need to get up and move. Regular exercise helps you work off stress and aids you in sleeping, too.
Success and self-care are not mutually exclusive. In reality, effective self-care aids you in reaching your goals and attaining your success. Start today to care for your body’s needs.
What Happens When You Surround Yourself with the Wrong People?
If you read enough self-help books, you will notice the recurring theme of surrounding yourself with the right people. You may have even heard your mom tell you to stop running with the wrong crowd. These are helpful suggestions, but what happens when the wrong type of personality surrounds you? How can the kinds of people affect your success goals?
How the Wrong People Affect You ย ๐ช
You don’t want to eliminate relationships with everyone, but sometimes it makes sense to limit your exposure to them. Consider these ways that the wrong or unhelpful people in your life affect your path to success:
1. They leave you physically and emotionally drained. Some people are happiest when they can bring you down to their level. Think of that friend, cousin, or sibling that doesn’t want to see others doing better than they are. These are the ones who will point out all the reasons you shouldn’t do things instead of cheering you on. We all have at least one. If you notice that you feel worse about your choices after being with them, then it might be time to limit your exposure to them.
2. Their limiting beliefs will limit you. These are the people who have a scarcity mindset. They are generous with their criticism but stingy with their praise. They don’t believe there is enough to go around, and you should be on the same plane of thought as they are. Hanging around with a person with limiting beliefs can stifle your creativity. You may have to discern what types of conversations you can have with them, as they just don’t understand.
3. Their negativity will pull you down into the cesspools of negative thoughts. Not everyone is positive all of the time. Most of us try to keep a positive outlook and look for the good in others and the circumstances. Negative people don’t. They don’t seem ever to see the bright side of things. If you are around this type of attitude for too long, you may join them in the quicksand of negative emotions. Don’t try to combat a negative person, and don’t sink to their level. Keep your positive outlook and look for those who want to share your positivity.
Make the most of your success journey by surrounding yourself with those who will support and help you on your way.
Are You Stressed? 10 Ways to Tell
Stress is a common experience that can have negative consequences on both your physical health and mental well being. Stress can manifest itself in many ways and it’s different for everyone.
It’s important to be aware of the signs and symptoms of stress so that you can take action to address it effectively before it gets out of control.
This checklist is designed to help you identify the signs of stress in your body so that you can take the necessary steps to reduce it.
Checklist specifically for a Stressed Person about Symptoms of Stress.
1. Check if you are experiencing any of the following physical symptoms of stress:
- Headaches
- Muscle tension or pain
- Fatigue
- Upset stomach
- Sleep problems
2. Check if you are experiencing any of the following emotional symptoms of stress:
- Anxiety
- Anger
- Restlessness
- Lack of motivation or focus
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Sadness or Feeling Down
- Irritability
3. Check if you are engaging in any of the following unhealthy coping mechanisms in response to stress:
- Overeating or undereating
- Sleeping too much or not enough
- Avoiding people or social situations
- Procrastinating
- Relying on alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes to relax
- Engaging in risky behaviours
4. Check your stress level using a stress assessment tool like the Perceived Stress Scale (PSS).
5. Check your daily routine and see if there are any areas where you can cut back on your commitments or delegate tasks to others.
6. Check your environment and see if there are any sources of stress that you can eliminate or reduce (e.g., noise, clutter, etc.).
7. Check your thoughts and see if you can reframe any negative thinking patterns that are contributing to your stress.
8. Check in with your support system and see if there are people you can talk to about your stressors.
9. Schedule some relaxation time into your day and make sure to stick to it.
10. Seek professional help if your stress levels are unmanageable or if you are struggling with unhealthy coping mechanisms.
This Symptoms of Stress Checklist will help you to identify the symptoms of stress that you may be experiencing. It is important to remember that not all of the symptoms on this list may be indicative of stress, but if you are experiencing several of them, it is worth taking the time to explore your stress levels further.
Martin Kiely Hypnosis Centre, Cork, Ireland.
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