Who hasn’t been hurt by someone? Your partner cheated on you. Your best friend from school betrayed you. Maybe you have a co-worker stealing your ideas or a boss who bullies you. Worse, you might have experienced trauma from physical, mental, or other forms of abuse. As time passes, some wounds don’t heal, and when that happens, you may be carrying a grudge. Grudges are those leftover feelings of anger and resentment that prevent you from growing as a person. It’s time to let go and move beyond your past.

Tips to Let Go of Grudges and Get Your Life Back

Holding a grudge is often an indication of unforgiveness. It can tear at your soul and corrode your physical and emotional health. It can affect all of your current and future relationships. Take the needed steps to release the grudge and gain your life back:

1. Establish Why You Are Holding the Grudge: You need to determine what the problem is so that it can be forgiven. Sometimes, you will find that the offense is not worth the grudge. Other times, you will know precisely what is causing the pain.

2. Consider the Benefits of Forgiveness: Choosing to forgive does not mean you forget, nor does it mean that the other person won. Instead, it means you let go of the resentment holding you back from living your life fully.

3. Acknowledge Your Emotions: Avoid stuffing the emotions down. Use a journal if you want, but take some time to examine your feelings about the harm you received. Also, think about how this affects your behavior and your relationships.

4. Look at it from Their Perspective: This will not always apply depending on the harm done. However, try putting yourself in their shoes. Under similar circumstances, would you have done the same thing to them?

5. Talk with the Other Party: Open communication can remedy some grudges simply. If you believe it will help, approach the other party to see if they will talk with you.

6. Release the Victimhood: Choose to accept what happened and your feelings about it. You don’t have to wait for an apology. (HINT: You may never get one.) Instead, stop playing the ‘wounded one’ card and take back your life by healing, releasing the anger and the grudge.

7. Avoid Dwelling: This may be the most challenging part, but it is critical. Once you choose to forgive, don’t look back. Avoid dwelling on the situation. If others want to bring it up, change the subject. Your healing is worth it.

Grudges don’t need to define you as a person. Let go of the past and spring forward to your new life by releasing resentments today. 🙏

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Are you a perfectionist or an over-achiever? The difference may surprise you. Over-achievers aim high and hit their mark. They succeed because they are motivated to do their best in everything. Perfectionists want to achieve, but fear of failure stops them. It paralyzes them and diminishes their self-esteem. Does this sound like you? There is nothing wrong with aiming for perfection; however, it can hold you back more than you realize. It’s possible to let go of your need for perfectionism and see yourself in the achiever category.

How You Can Kiss Perfectionism Goodbye 

Stop letting your need for perfection hamper your happiness and reach your goals. Here are some tips to get you started:  😮

1. Admit You Are a Perfectionist: Pay attention to your thoughts and tendencies. Look for patterns that indicate your perfectionistic ways. Consider the self-talk you use. Starting here gives you an edge on overcoming your preferences.

2. Look for the Positives: It is easy to fixate on the negatives when nothing is perfect. It won’t be easy to focus on positive self-talk, but it will take you miles down the path to your goals.

3. Remember that You Will Make Mistakes: Allow yourself to make mistakes. You will learn much. Mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow as a person. Enjoy the process and accept that mistakes are part of it.

4. Reconsider Your Goals: You probably set your goals too high, using impossible standards. Reduce your stress and increase your chance of success by setting realistic goals. In essence, you set yourself up for failure.

5. Learn How to Receive Feedback: Perfectionists generally don’t like to receive feedback because they suffer from low self-esteem. You learn to do better when receiving constructive feedback and not taking it personally.

6. Lower Your Standards: You don’t need to go to the far extreme and have no standards. But it’s helpful to reduce the pressure on yourself by lowering your expectations a tad.

7. Stop Procrastinating: As a perfectionist, you are probably a procrastinator. Instead of giving yourself an excuse to slack off and stress yourself more, learn to work ahead and be proactive. It will provide you with more time to complete tasks to the best standards possible.

It’s okay to give yourself full permission to no longer be perfect. Letting go of your perfectionism reduces your stress and opens up your ability to grow and learn new things to achieve your dreams. You will thank yourself later.

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Decluttering gives you the orderliness that encourages creativity and a healthier lifestyle. Your stress levels will dissipate when you choose to declutter and organize your home. For example, seeing a kitchen counter cleared of mail from the past six years is a godsend. However, choosing what to keep and what to ditch can be taxing.

You may struggle over items of sentimental value. You may feel guilty over the money ‘wasted’ or make excuses to keep things. Part of expanding your horizons and attaining your goals begins with your ability to release those things that no longer serve you. Personal belongings are an excellent place to start.

Personal Belongings that Weigh You Down

We struggle with getting rid of items, especially if they have sentimental value. If you start small and work up to it, you will gain the momentum you need to clear out those extra things weighing you down:

1. Old, Unidentifiable Cords: You probably have a drawer of these. Cords to eReaders, old cell phones, and other electronic devices. There is no need to hold onto those items as they become outdated quickly.

2. Eye Glasses with Outdated Prescriptions: Instead of holding onto glasses that you cannot see out of, donate them. Someone else could get more use out of them, and you can use the space in your drawer.

3. Product Manuals: Almost anything can be found on the Internet, including the product manual for your electric mower. If you must keep the paper version, recycle those you no longer have the product.

4. Sunscreen: Your favorite sunscreen will not last long as its effectiveness breaks down. It’s a good idea to buy new frequently, particularly during summer.

5. Mismatched Socks: Where do all the socks go? That is the question plaguing many, but that doesn’t mean you need to keep the partner. Unless you want to make sock puppets with your kids, please get rid of them and then throw them out.

6. Plastic Utensils: When you have perfectly good silverware at home, get rid of the plastic stuff. You could take them to work and tuck them in your desk for your brown bag lunch.

7. Old Workout Gear: Kudos to you for keeping up with your exercise routine! Remember that your gear will wear out faster from frequent use than your regular clothes. Keep an eye on them and replace them often.

Decluttering personal belongings begins with small steps, but it brings lasting results. Enjoy a cleaner home and a clearer mind to aid you in reaching your goals.

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