Martin Kiely Hypnosis Blog

Do you ever feel like you can’t escape your mind? Maybe it’s always spinning out of control, or perhaps you have a lot of thoughts. A lot of people experience chaos in their own minds, and this can make things difficult when you’re trying to work toward your goals. The next time your mind is filled with confusion, try one of these five creative ways to alleviate the stress.

1. Keep it Busy

There’s a delicate balance between keeping your mind busy without overcrowding it. It’s one thing to occupy your mind so it doesn’t wander, but it’s a whole different ball game when you start stressing out about endless to-do lists and information overload. Try to write 3-5 things you want to accomplish every day and be sure to add at least one thing that is purely for fun. This will keep your mind busy without getting you too stressed.

2. Help Others

When was the last time you extended a helping hand to someone who needs it? Our brains tend to calm down when we’re in helper mode because the focus is on others rather than our own problems or stresses.

3. Pick up a Creative Hobby

We all have a creative side, whether it’s deep down or you’re continually flexing your creative muscles. Picking up a creative hobby gives your brain a nice, healthy break from the usual grind. Plus, it allows you to expand your intelligence with new forms of thinking. Win-win!

4. Care for your Physical Being

The mind and bodywork hand in hand a lot, so if you aren’t caring for your physical being, you may notice some stress going on in your head. Take time to care for your body work out more, take a walk, draw a bath, or snooze your alarm clock. There are lots of ways to reenergize your body so that you can take on more in your mind!

5. Connect with Others

Helping others and connecting with other people are two totally different things, but both are essential aspects of cultivating an active, healthy mind. As humans, we need socialization. We thrive when we are part of a tribe. We crave human interaction time, so get out there and get social! Every laugh and bit of chatter will feed your mind in countless ways. Call a friend and have lunch in the park. It doesn’t have to be a big production, since the goal is simple human connection.

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Are you not having a good day? We all falter sometimes. All it takes is a little unasked-for criticism or someone just treating us harshly to trigger us into a spiral of negative self-talk and anxiety about not being liked.

When you need to remind yourself of your worth fast, it’s good to have some ideas in mind. Try these quick tips for getting yourself back on track even when life seems out of control.

Go into a Judgement-Free Zone

OK, so your thoughts aren’t what you wish they would be. You know you’re in a “feeling down” cycle. Your emotions are all over the place, and you’re starting to hit critical mass when it comes to criticism. You already know you’re not supposed to be reacting this way. So to make your awful day a little bit worse, you start beating yourself up for how you’re treating yourself. This is entirely the wrong approach. Your first step must be to stop the negative spiral. Drop the judgment. Accept you’re having a bad day. This moment doesn’t have to define you. With these thoughts firmly in mind, it’s time to let things go.

Drop the ‘Should’

Why are you caught up thinking about ‘should’ anyway? The moment you start using this particularly devilish little word, you’re telling yourself what a failure you are. You have become caught up in a vortex of perfectionism; you can’t possibly escape. ‘Should’ never helps anybody. Erase it from your vocabulary.

Stop Looking for Validation

Anytime you think someone else can give you what you need to feel good about yourself, you’re going to be disappointed. People will let you down. Even in the best relationship, it’s not healthy to use someone else to define who you are. This kind of thinking can be dangerous. What if the person you relied upon was no longer in your life? How would this then impact your self-worth?

Come to Terms with the Past

It’s time to separate your actions from yourself. When you make a mistake, acknowledge the error and move on. To get caught into shame or guilt only hurts you in the long run. There is nothing to be gained by victimizing yourself. Forgive yourself and move on.

Know Where You Excel

For a super-quick fix to your self-worth, take a moment to list off the things in which you excel. Acknowledge your accomplishments. A close examination of all the things which make you proud should give you a solid reminder you are indeed worthy.

By paying attention to these five areas, you can quickly restore your self-worth, belief and confidence. The key is to be alert and move quickly to head off negative or unwanted thoughts that don’t serve you before they undo all the hard work you’ve already put into yourself.  👍

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Not feeling well? Kind of boring and wishing you had something better to say about the day than a mumbled fine when someone asks you how you are? The solution might be simpler than you think.

Our attitudes really are everything. When we’re not feeling great about our lives or how the day is going, everything can seem to go wrong. The problem is, life isn’t a steady thing. You might have one really good day followed by another equally bad. With so many things outside of your control from the weather to politics it might seem impossible to ever truly feel good about anything.

The answer lies in your thinking. By being able to think positively, you will find your entire outlook changes.

How do you develop the habit of positive thinking?

Rephrase

The obvious answer is to use more positive words. Instead of saying something negative, either out loud or in your head, try to find a better way to say things. For example, work isn’t grueling so much as it might have interesting challenges. While this might seem artificial and forced at first, the more you work to rephrase things, the easier it will be to find a more positive spin.

Reframe

How many times have you talked about having to do something. This alone has a negative connotation, as though you’re being forced into something you don’t want to do. Instead trying to drop the word have in this context, and try inserting get instead. You don’t have to do a presentation by Friday. You get to do one. Hear the difference? This is how you change a task into an opportunity.

Reorient

Sure, disasters are going to happen. Not everything you attempt is going to turn out exactly the way you’d like it to. Rather than focus on the disaster, try changing your focus. It might be time to shift to a slightly different method or goal.

Relax

It’s so hard to be positive when you’re absolutely exhausted and feeling like you’re in over your head. Sometimes the best way to cultivate better self-talk is to cut yourself some slack and take a break. Things will look brighter when you can come back refreshed.

Reassess

Being positive should never be about closing your eyes to tragedy or injustice. Bad things are going to happen in the world. But someone with a positive attitude will be able to look beyond the tragedy to the next step. Positivity finds solutions where others only see problems. Here is the birth of activism and change.   👍

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Ask anyone what they desire in life, and more often than not, the answer comes back as some variation of “be happier.” The pursuit of happiness has been around since time began, the topic being a discussion point since the days of Plato and Socrates.

Is happiness truly so hard to find?

Thankfully happiness is a lot simpler than most people think. By creating some new micro-habits in your life, not only will you be happier, but the people around you will likewise start feeling those same warm fuzzies. Where do you begin?

1. Start your day off right. When you wake up, think of something for which you’re thankful. By beginning in gratitude, you set your mind in a positive place before you even get out of bed.

2. Follow-up with a morning routine that inspires. Listen to a podcast over breakfast, read a chapter out of an inspirational book, listen to music that inspires and motivates you. Take time for use “Winning Ways Within” self-hypnosis audios tailored for your needs. Embrace whatever you need to do to launch yourself into the day feeling cheerful and inspired.

3. Stay in the moment. Rather than get caught up in the trials and tribulations of the day ask yourself where you are right now. Turn off the electronics and take a moment to breathe. Find that inner calm, and remind yourself that right now, right here, you are OK. Focus on what’s in front of you and let the future go.

4. Listen more. By taking the time to listen to what someone else has to say, both of you benefit. Listening is what leads to genuine intimacy and deeper relationships, and makes the person doing the talking feel a surge of happiness of their own.

5. Sharpen your saw. The old story goes that a man walking through the woods sees someone laboring mightily to cut down a tree. As he watches, he points out that the process would go much faster if the woodcutter were to sharpen his saw. The woodcutter replies, “I realize that, but I don’t have time to stop.” By stopping to sharpen your saw, resting and recharging, you’re capable of so much more later on. Take breaks that give energy back not only to your body but your mind.

6. Hang around, happy people. We’re affected deeply by the mood of those around us. By gravitating toward people who make us feel good, we help our mood.

7. Take care of yourself. It’s hard to feel happy if you’re not feeling well. Micro habits work particularly well here. Drink more water. Get up and stretch. Add more leafy greens to your diet. Whatever you choose, know that you’re benefitting more than your body, but also your mind.

There are many ways to find happiness. While you may start with this list, be sure to explore ideas of your own. Remember, you don’t have to do great big sweeping things to change your attitude,  just practicing small micro-habits is enough to change your life positively.

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In talking about the importance of kindness, it’s easy to forget that you have to start with being kind to yourself. How does it feel to hear that? Maybe it makes you uncomfortable. After all, you were probably brought up to think of others first, to be unselfish, to put your own needs behind other people’s.

But having real compassion means that you treat yourself the same way as you would a friend who was suffering.

There are three fundamental elements of building compassion and learning self-kindness.

1. Letting go of self-judgment

Listen to your self-talk for a moment. How are you feeling about the whole idea of self-kindness? Many people have negative internal dialogue going on inside their heads that is full of judgment and self-criticism aimed at themselves. A negative loop that uses words they would never dream of saying to other people.

Developing self-compassion means letting go of perfectionism. It means being okay with making mistakes and even embracing failure.

Self-kindness acknowledges that life is full of ups and downs and that going through hard times isn’t necessarily someone’s fault. By accepting the reality of life and letting go of self-judgment, you will find calm and understanding.

2. Accepting that it’s not just you

One of the worst aspects of going through a hard time is feeling that you’re alone in your misery. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that being human means being imperfect and vulnerable. Bad times come and bad times go, and you’ll make it through. It happens to everyone because it’s part of the human condition.

So, take a deep breath, take a step back, and treat yourself gently until the storm has passed.

3. Seeking a middle ground 

It can be tempting to fall into negativity when things don’t go your way. But try taking a mindful approach that acknowledges your feelings but doesn’t over-identify with them. Wallowing in your unhappiness or beating yourself up is unhelpful.

Mindfulness means taking a step back and observing what is happening without getting caught up in the emotions, or at the other end of the scale, trying to suppress or deny what you’re feeling.

Acknowledge your emotions and the situation you find yourself in, but also find some perspective. Consider what is happening in your life and compare your experience to what is happening in the world.

To develop genuine compassion, you must acknowledge your own pain and come from a place of acceptance for yourself so that you can offer it to other people.

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