Let Go Of The Past
Why Is It Important To Let Go of What Doesn’t Serve You?
Throughout life, we experience situations that leave a lasting mark. We accumulate items that bring us joy or serve a particular service. There comes a time when you reach a fork in the road toward your personal growth. You can take one lane, and everything stays the same. You have the same job, friends, and routines. The other path takes you on a new adventure with possibly new friends, a business venture, or other opportunities. However, it comes at a price… you must let go of things that no longer serve you. You may understand what that means, but do you know why it is vital to your growth?
Why Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You Is Critical to Your Well-being 🚩
Choosing what to let go of looks different to each of us. It may mean letting go of stuff and clutter, a horrible job situation, or a previously valued relationship. Each case has different levels of difficulty, but you and your well-being will enjoy the benefits of letting go:
1. You regain emotional energy. If one of the things you need to let go of is a grudge, then you know the amount of energy you have spent in anger and hurt. But to what end? You may have inadvertently pushed away friends and family while living in your pain. Stop the energy-suck by forgiving the culprit and moving on to better things.
2. You regain your identity. A painful relationship may leave you questioning who you are. Letting toxic relationships go allows you to rediscover who you are and dream about what you’d like to do with your future.
3. You open the opportunity for change. Keeping yourself tied to the same job because of fear prevents you from jumping on opportunities to get that new career or start a business. Let go of the fear and embrace the possibilities.
4. You rediscover your joy. When you dread going to your job or going out to dinner with your critical in-laws, you have lost your happiness. It may be time to relook at your career choices or find ways to limit contact with your extended family.
5. You regain focus. In our distracted society, the day-to-day stuff in our lives burdens us all. Smartphones and social media have a way of keeping us from focusing on what matters. Regain your focus by putting the phone down and letting go of the need to be constantly scrolling through social media.
Moving forward to reach your goals requires letting go. It’s vital to your success, so why not start today? ✅
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What Does It Mean to “Let Go of What Doesn’t Serve You”?
Life is a journey. It starts with a childhood where you learned to interact with others on the playground and share your favourite toy. Soon, you move into young adulthood with its vast emotional attachments and desire for independence. Next, you are headed into full-blow adulthood with all the trimmings – jobs, relationships, kids, mortgages, and debt.
In each stage, you have relationships and belongings that you love and others that you don’t need. Finally, you find yourself old and wondering what in the world happened! The key is learning to let go of what doesn’t serve you and keep what does.
Learn what It Means to Let Go of What Doesn’t Serve You
The phrase is across the Internet, but what does it mean, and how can you apply it to your circumstances? It all begins by understanding what the term ‘serve’ means. Once you know that, you are in a fantastic position to release and hold only what makes a quality life:
Definition of Serve: Generally speaking, to serve is to be useful or to be of use. Your server at your favorite restaurant is of service when they bring you that delectable platter of food you’ve been craving.
Determining What No Longer Serves You: This looks different to everyone. Look for what makes you doubt who you are or want to become. Think of those items or relationships that drain you mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Examples: You might think of these things in categories:
a. Internal: This category includes your belief system, values, goals, duties, and obligations.
b. Behavioural: What habits, hobbies, commitments, or other pursuits are eating up your life?
c. Physical: These can be as simple as clutter in your home to the holiday house you never seem to use because you have to work all of the time to afford it.
d. People: You might find this the most challenging category because it could mean looking at relationships. There are also the roles you hold, groups you are part of, and connections you’ve made.
* Where to Start Letting Go: It is helpful to start with a brainstorming session. Next, take a category and decide the steps you need to take, then go for it! Go through each type and write down everything you believe has stopped serving you.
Let go of those people, items, or emotions that stop you from moving forward toward your goals.
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The Types of Relationships You Need to Let Go
Relationships give us a sense of belonging. The right ones bolster you and encourage you to grow as a person. The wrong ones leave you depleted emotionally. All relationships have their ups and downs. However, if you have a relationship that always seems down instead of up, it may be time to let it go. It will not be easy, especially if children are involved, but it may be necessary to your overall wellbeing.
How to Know When It’s Time to Let Go
Not all relationships need to call it quits. There are many times when issues plaguing those involved can be rectified. However, if you are in any of these types of situations, it may be time to say goodbye and get on with your life:
* Abuse: At no time should you have to put up with abuse. This is a complex situation when there is a marriage or children, and you may need help or intervention from others like a trained counselor. If your spouse or lover abuses you physically, emotionally, verbally, or in another way, it is time to let them go. If you don’t leave, you subject yourself to more abuse because the abuser will not change their behavior.
* Dishonesty and Disloyalty: Another situation worth leaving is consistent deceit or disloyalty. This isn’t a one-off lie or act of infidelity. It is when someone continually lies to you or is unfaithful and refuses to change. They lack character and integrity. You will soon learn that your respect for them will dwindle the longer they carry on.
* Irresponsibility: At some point, you have to grow up. Adults have responsibilities. Yet some can be irresponsible in handling finances, raising kids, or holding jobs. You are left cleaning up their messes when they fail to handle their duties. Stop letting them undermine the fundamental parts of your life.
* One-Sided: Are you always the one to initiate time together? The other person may be selfish and demanding. When you realize this, you may also learn that you are spending too much energy on a one-sided relationship. You may want to let that go and find someone happy to meet you halfway.
* Demanding Expectations: You may be in a relationship where the other party requires you to dress or behave in a certain way. They may expect you to spend all of your time with them. You may find that you’re compromising your own desires or needs just to keep the peace. Maybe it’s time to do an about-face and remove yourself from their reach instead.
Self-development is more than reading some good books. It’s also about taking action to remove yourself from relationships that stunt your growth.
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How to Let Go of Past Grudges
Who hasn’t been hurt by someone? Your partner cheated on you. Your best friend from school betrayed you. Maybe you have a co-worker stealing your ideas or a boss who bullies you. Worse, you might have experienced trauma from physical, mental, or other forms of abuse. As time passes, some wounds don’t heal, and when that happens, you may be carrying a grudge. Grudges are those leftover feelings of anger and resentment that prevent you from growing as a person. It’s time to let go and move beyond your past.
Tips to Let Go of Grudges and Get Your Life Back
Holding a grudge is often an indication of unforgiveness. It can tear at your soul and corrode your physical and emotional health. It can affect all of your current and future relationships. Take the needed steps to release the grudge and gain your life back:
1. Establish Why You Are Holding the Grudge: You need to determine what the problem is so that it can be forgiven. Sometimes, you will find that the offense is not worth the grudge. Other times, you will know precisely what is causing the pain.
2. Consider the Benefits of Forgiveness: Choosing to forgive does not mean you forget, nor does it mean that the other person won. Instead, it means you let go of the resentment holding you back from living your life fully.
3. Acknowledge Your Emotions: Avoid stuffing the emotions down. Use a journal if you want, but take some time to examine your feelings about the harm you received. Also, think about how this affects your behavior and your relationships.
4. Look at it from Their Perspective: This will not always apply depending on the harm done. However, try putting yourself in their shoes. Under similar circumstances, would you have done the same thing to them?
5. Talk with the Other Party: Open communication can remedy some grudges simply. If you believe it will help, approach the other party to see if they will talk with you.
6. Release the Victimhood: Choose to accept what happened and your feelings about it. You don’t have to wait for an apology. (HINT: You may never get one.) Instead, stop playing the ‘wounded one’ card and take back your life by healing, releasing the anger and the grudge.
7. Avoid Dwelling: This may be the most challenging part, but it is critical. Once you choose to forgive, don’t look back. Avoid dwelling on the situation. If others want to bring it up, change the subject. Your healing is worth it.
Grudges don’t need to define you as a person. Let go of the past and spring forward to your new life by releasing resentments today. 🙏
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How Can I Let Go of My Need For Perfection?
Are you a perfectionist or an over-achiever? The difference may surprise you. Over-achievers aim high and hit their mark. They succeed because they are motivated to do their best in everything. Perfectionists want to achieve, but fear of failure stops them. It paralyzes them and diminishes their self-esteem. Does this sound like you? There is nothing wrong with aiming for perfection; however, it can hold you back more than you realize. It’s possible to let go of your need for perfectionism and see yourself in the achiever category.
How You Can Kiss Perfectionism Goodbye
Stop letting your need for perfection hamper your happiness and reach your goals. Here are some tips to get you started: 😮
1. Admit You Are a Perfectionist: Pay attention to your thoughts and tendencies. Look for patterns that indicate your perfectionistic ways. Consider the self-talk you use. Starting here gives you an edge on overcoming your preferences.
2. Look for the Positives: It is easy to fixate on the negatives when nothing is perfect. It won’t be easy to focus on positive self-talk, but it will take you miles down the path to your goals.
3. Remember that You Will Make Mistakes: Allow yourself to make mistakes. You will learn much. Mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow as a person. Enjoy the process and accept that mistakes are part of it.
4. Reconsider Your Goals: You probably set your goals too high, using impossible standards. Reduce your stress and increase your chance of success by setting realistic goals. In essence, you set yourself up for failure.
5. Learn How to Receive Feedback: Perfectionists generally don’t like to receive feedback because they suffer from low self-esteem. You learn to do better when receiving constructive feedback and not taking it personally.
6. Lower Your Standards: You don’t need to go to the far extreme and have no standards. But it’s helpful to reduce the pressure on yourself by lowering your expectations a tad.
7. Stop Procrastinating: As a perfectionist, you are probably a procrastinator. Instead of giving yourself an excuse to slack off and stress yourself more, learn to work ahead and be proactive. It will provide you with more time to complete tasks to the best standards possible.
It’s okay to give yourself full permission to no longer be perfect. Letting go of your perfectionism reduces your stress and opens up your ability to grow and learn new things to achieve your dreams. You will thank yourself later.
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